File this one under “ You couldn’t make this crap up if we tried.” After all the endless moaning and wailing by environmentalists that humans are mucking up the environment and causing the worst warming trend in history, a new study shows that cow crap and cow farts are far more to blame...
In fact, the United Nations Food & Agricultural Association claims that the world’s 1.5 billion cows are worse then all the cars, planes, and all other forms of transportation PUT TOGETHER. Apparently, cows are so dangerous because their “emissions” contain methane gas—a substance thought to heat the atmosphere twenty times more than the carbon dioxide that usually gets all of the press. On Wisconsin!
Cows are believed to account for one third of all the world’s methane emissions, and therefore the tasty beef-supplying critters are responsible for all the most heinous crimes against the environment: acid rain, desertification, and, of course, the destruction of coral reefs.
I guess we can all look for livestock to be appearing on America's Most Wanted sometime soon—or at the very least, expect cow-farts to be subject the strictest governmental regulations while cow poop may be outlawed entirely. Surprisingly, the cows here in Wisconsin themselves have nothing to say in their defense, other than “Mooo @#%! .”
I have been thinking about my family lately. My Mom was one of six kids, five girls and one boy born over sixty years ago on a farm in Morton's Gap, KY. The closest "city" is Madisonville.
Founded in 1807 and named for James Madison, the fourth President of the United States, this city has grown to be the home for over 19,000 people. Madisonville is located in the heart of Western Kentucky (49 miles south of Evansville, Indiana; 104 miles northwest of Nashville, Tennessee; and 153 miles southwest of Louisville, Kentucky) making this community attractive for economic development opportunities and weekend visitors. The town is served directly by the Pennyrile Parkway, US Hwy 41 and 41A, and Kentucky Highways 70 and 85, making it easily accessible to all travelers.
Sometime in the 1990's I ran a crew operating Morton's Gap. At some point I will share some truly unbelievable stories about my time in Western Kentucky. Today just a dive Diner tale "Ferrell's Snappy Service" Ferrell's is more than a hamburger joint - it is history for all locals.
My Grandfather a farmer/ Coal Miner took my Mother to eat at this place as a girl. My Uncle Tommy took me as a teen while on vacation from Chicago. And I sent my crew to bring back sacks of greasy food during my time in "The Gap!"
The place is tiny. A friendly old boy or gal takes your order - "dressed with all the fixin's." Then you take a seat on one of the 15 diner stools in the restaurant.
In a one-square-foot space of wooden cutting board, a woman pats out raw ground beef, pull apart lettuce, slice tomato, and dress hamburger buns. Smashes and screes the patty on the grill. There is little to no hand-washing. A bag of fries and a flat fountain Pepsi and you are on your way! The stuff is good and has never killed a single Hillbilly that I know of...
Ferrell's is a small hometown diner where you can just sit and chat over good food and leisurely conversation if you don't know anybody in town go to Ferrell's you will get to know some people pretty quickly they prepare the food right in front of you and the food is served piping hot.
From the 1970's - early 1990's my family ran "RED CARD MOBS" hitting truck stops across the United States. They operated out of the South Side of Chicago and Cincinnati, OH; paying "respect" to the Italians that ran both cities. I might become really unpopular with certain people in Chicago but this is no national secret. Red Card is the Hillbilly version of three cardMonty...
To play, a dealer places three cards face down on a table. (The table is often nothing more than a cardboard box, providing the ability to set up and disappear quickly.) The dealer shows that one of the cards is the target card, for example, the Queen of Spades, and then rearranges the cards quickly to confuse the player about which card is which. The player is then given an opportunity to select one of the three cards. If the player correctly identifies the Queen of Spades, the player wins an amount equal to the amount bet; otherwise, he loses his stake.
Pulls work the lot drumming up business. Stick are enforcers. Dealers control the game.
When the mark arrives at the game, it is likely that a number of other players will be seen winning and losing money at the game. The people engaged in playing the game are invariably Pulls, confederates of the dealer who pretend to play so as to give the illusion of a straight gambling game.
As the mark watches the game, they are likely to notice that they can follow the queen more easily than the shills seem to be able to, which sets them up to believe that he can beat the game. They may even be invited to gamble with a Mob members money. That pulls the Mark into the game.
Eventually, if the mark enters the game, they will be cheated through any number of methods:
An example of a simple scheme involves a dealer and Mob Members, all of whom act as if they do not know each other. The mark will come upon a game being conducted in a seemingly clandestine manner, perhaps with somebody "looking out" for police. The dealer will be engaged in his role, with the first Pull betting money. The first Pull may be winning, leading the mark to observe that easy money may be had, or losing, leading the mark to observe that he could beat the game and win money where the first shill is losing it.
While the mark is watching, the second mob member, acting as if he is a casual passerby like the mark, will casually engage a mark in conversation regarding the game, commenting on either how easily the first shill is winning or how he is losing money because he cannot win at what appears to the mark to be a simple game. This conversation is engineered to implicitly encourage the mark to play, and it is possible the second shill could resort to outright encouragement.
If the mark enters the game, they may be "had" (cheated) by a number of techniques. A common belief is that the operator may let the mark win a couple of bets to suck them in, but this is virtually never true. In a true red card scam, the mark is unlikely to ever win a single bet; it is simply not necessary. There are just too many ways for a well-run mob to attract the marks, suck them in, and convince them to put money down.
When the dealer and the shills have taken the mark, a stick, the dealer, or a stick acting as an observer will claim to have spotted the police. The dealer will quickly pack up the game and together with the pulls disperse. If it gets rough the "Stick" stay and fight a dealer never throws a punch and must stay out of jail. The Dealer is the money man.
Some RED CARD Slang:
You wife is here: The Police
Car Nut: The Cash Split
Donkey: Behind You
Dealers employ sleight of hand and misdirection to prevent the mark from finding the queen. Several moves are in common use.
The throw
In the throw, the dealer holds 2 cards face down in one hand. The top card is held between the thumb and second finger; the bottom card is held below it, between the thumb and third finger. The dealer then sweeps his hand down and throws one card on the table. The mark naturally assumes that the dealer has thrown the bottom card; however, the dealer may throw either the bottom card, by releasing his third finger, or the top card, by releasing his second finger.
Done properly, the throw makes it virtually impossible for an observer to tell which card has fallen; even Pulls can't reliably follow cards through the throw. RED CARD crews use secret signals so that the dealer can tell the Pull where the queen is.
The throw accounts for the characteristic sideways motion of the dealer's hands as the cards are moved around on the table.
The Mexican turnover
If a mark should happen to pick the queen when the dealer doesn't want it, the dealer can use a Mexican turnover to exchange it with another card. First, the dealer picks up another card—not the one that the mark has chosen. The dealer holds it by a corner between thumb and forefinger, and slides it under the chosen card—ostensibly in order to turn over the chosen card. In fact, as the two cards come vertical, the dealer shifts their grip from the unpicked card to the chosen card, taking the chosen card away in their hand and leaving the unpicked card to fall face up on the table. Like the throw, a properly executed Mexican turnover is virtually undetectable.
R.I.P. Thomas Offutt "Tut-Tut" RED CARD Dealer My Uncle Tommy
Thursday, September 18, 2008
God send us another Prophet, it's time! Ephesians 4:11 (The Message)
7-13 But that doesn't mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift. The text for this is,
He climbed the high mountain, He captured the enemy and seized the booty, He handed it all out in gifts to the people. Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ's followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ's body, the church, until we're all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.
A good Hot Dog can be a thing of beauty and a stupendous culinary experience, but the Chicago Style Hot Dog has been described as the quintessential Hot Dog...
I was recently asked why I created a blog dedicated to my ministry and the Chicago Dog. The answer is simple, Chicago folks are passionate and I want to share my passion with you. The truth is it's about attitude not beef franks! That being said they are freakin' amazing so I am going share the secret of a great dog with you today.
As a transplant from the Chicago area, I truly miss the plethora of Hot Dog places. I currently live in Neenah, Wisconsin and after conducting a search of the area for the perfect Chicago Style Hot Dog. I located a place in one location in Little Chute and another in Appleton called Taste of the Windy City. It is an old school Hot Dogs stand; well they have cheese curds on the menu WTFE. It has some Wisconsin flavors but you can get the quintessential Chicago Dog at this joint!
Taste of The Windy City1800 Freedom Rd, Little Chute, WI
Taste of The Windy City 3402 N Richmond St Appleton, WI
So What Exactly is a Chicago Style Hot Dog?
Before we explain what a Chicago Dog is and what makes it so special, let's take quick look at what a Hot Dog is. If you look up the definition of "Hot Dog", you will generally see the following:
hot dog or hot·dog (hot'dôg', -dog')
noun.
A frankfurter, especially one served hot in a long soft roll. Also called red-hot.
A type of cooked meat in the shape of a sausage; it is usually served in a long bun.
One who performs showy, often dangerous stunts, in order to attract attention
A Dog With a Difference A Chicago Style Hot Dog is more than just a Hot Dog; it's a taste sensation with the perfect blend of toppings. So, what exactly is a Chicago Dog? A Chicago Style Hot Dog is a steamed all beef Hot Dog topped with yellow mustard, bright green relish, onions, tomato wedges, pickle spear or slice, sport peppers and a dash of celery salt served in the all-important steamed poppyseed bun.
The toppings are just as important as the order they are applied to the Hot Dog. Add toppings in the following order:
1. Yellow Mustard
2. Bright Green Relish
3. Fresh Chopped Onions
4. Two Tomato Wedges
5. A Pickle Spear or Slice
6. Two Sport Peppers
7. A Dash of Celery Salt
8. When adding toppings, dress the dog and not the bun!
Why is the placement of the toppings so important? If your Chicago Dog has been made properly, you will get a taste of each ingredient in every bite.
A Chicago Style Hot Dog is never boiled, but slowly simmered using steam heat until the hot dog reaches approximately 170-180 degrees. Although steam is the preferred method to heat the Hot Dog, grilling, heating in water or using the microwave are also acceptable. Since Hot Dogs are pre-cooked all you need to do is heat the dog.
Fluky's (a Chicago institution since 1929) provides these instructions for heating your Hot Dogs: Bring the water to a boil, turn the water down until it stops boiling, or a slight simmer. (DO NOT COOK HOT DOGS IN BOILING WATER). Place desired number of hot dogs into water and cook uncovered for 20 minutes.
Vienna® Beef Hot Dogs are probably the some of the best tasting dogs you will ever experience. Over 80% of hot dog vendors in Chicago proudly serve Vienna® Beef Hot Dogs. However, buyer beware. It is increasingly apparent to us that not all places claiming to serve the Vienna brand actually do. Vienna provides promotional support to restaurants in order to get the Vienna name out there. Just because the sign says Vienna Beef, doesn't mean the establishment still serves Vienna brand products. One would hope that Vienna would have a special department (i.e the "hot dog police") to spot check restaurants and enforce this.
There is a new dog in town! Red Hot Chicago is slowly but surely taking over market share from Vienna. Their quality great tasting dogs are already served in many establishments and the list is steadily growing. Red Hot Chicago was established in 1983 and now has a full line of products which include dogs, poppy seed buns, relish and sport peppers. Their pure beef hot dogs are specially formulated to be significantly leaner and contain less added water than standards used by other hot dog manufacturers.
Where's the Ketchup? As mentioned earlier, the toppings are just as important as the Hot Dog itself. If you look at the required toppings for a Chicago Dog, you will notice that Ketchup is not listed among them. Ketchup is an ingredient frowned upon by Hot Dog aficionados. Although ketchup remains one of the most popular condiments on Hot Dogs, "properly made" Hot Dogs, like the Chicago Style, usually lack the condiment.
Those who consider themselves Hot Dog connoisseurs are often vehemently opposed to eating (or even witnessing) Hot Dogs with ketchup; they think the flavor of ketchup overpowers and destroys the taste of the Hot Dog instead of complementing it. Nowhere is this difference in opinion more apparent than in Chicago.
The inclusion of ketchup on a Chicago Style Hot Dog is a controversial issue. Most adult Chicagoans will shun ketchup. Chicago Hot Dog stands will not, as a rule, put ketchup on a Chicago Dog. Some stands will provide ketchup although you are responsible for defacing your Dog.
"You know what makes me really sick to my stomach? It's watching you stuff your face with those Hot Dogs! Nobody - I mean nobody puts ketchup on a Hot Dog!". - This is a famous line from the movie Sudden Impact starring Clint Eastwood.
The National Hot Dog & Sausage Council, in its recommendations for proper Hot Dog Etiquette capitulate only slightly to the public's general regard for ketchup, saying "Don't use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18.".
Learn the Lingo
"The Works" - When ordering a Chicago Style Hot Dog it is important to understand the terminology. Probably the most important word is "works". For example, the proper way to order your Dog is to say, "I'll take a Chicago Dog with the works". First of all, it is important to say "Chicago Dog" when placing your order. This sends a clear message that you want an all beef Hot Dog served on a steamed poppyseed bun. When you say " with the works" you are saying that you want "everything" (yellow mustard, bright green relish, onions, tomato wedges, pickle spear, sport peppers and a dash of celery salt) on your Dog.
Tip: When it is your turn to order you better have an idea of what you want. Hot Dog establishments are usually very crowded and very fast paced. The person behind the counter expects you to know what you want. If you are not ready, let the person behind you place their order first.
"Snap" - When biting into an all beef Hot Dog, there should be slight resistance from the casing. The resistance is referred to as the "snap". For example, "it has the nice 'snap'.". Next time you have a Chicago Dog, impress your friends and family by taking a bite and commenting on the "snap".
"Dragged Through the Garden" - Chicago Dogs are sometimes described this way because of all the vegetables.
Ambiance Don't be too concerned about the appearance of the place you get your Dog from. For me the ambiance is important and contributes to the overall Chicago Dog experience. Some of the best Hot Dog joints are probably considered "dives" by most people's standards. Don't expect a typical sit-down restaurant with a well-appointed interior and full menu. Many don't even have any place to sit while other places are not much more than an order counter and some stools to sit on (the round ones are my favorite). Typically, there is always a deal that includes fries and a drink. Fries complete the package.
-1920's: Way back when Uptown was Uptown. Just before Hollywood gained its foothold, Essanay Studios was the headquarters for the motion picture industry.
-1930's: Uptown was a part of the Al Capone era --and then the Great Depression. -1940's: The end of WWII brought economic success to the nation, but not necessarily to this neighborhood.
-1950's: White Flight begins as Uptown goes down.
-1960's: Appalachians become a part of the Uptown population; strip clubs and other seedy activity become the trademark of Uptown. The neighborhood is considered to be at its lowest point by the end of the decade.
-1970's: The end of the Vietnam war brings refugees to the U.S., who begin to help develop. I was born!!! Argyle street and the surrounding area. Also, the mentally ill are released to the streets.
-1980's: Cambodian refugees begin to move into Uptown, as do other immigrant groups, such as Ethiopians.
-1990's: Many more groups move to Uptown: Hispanics, Russians, Nigerians, and yes even Yuppies. The battle between rich & poor intensifies, displayed in the aftermath of two nearby fires. 5 acres of land become a major issue for two distinct camps.
-2000 & beyond: Uptown become a trendy home for a mostly white upper class Jerk offs...t
-2008: The thrill is gone! My good friends Willis & JD are dissed by a skinny tie wearing well manscaped prick Bar Tender for ordering Jäger Bombs at The Green Mill!
Before we explain what a Chicago Dog is and what makes it so special, let's take quick look at what a Hot Dog is. If you look up the definition of "Hot Dog", you will generally see the following:
